PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm passing your future prison.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
