once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
