i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
