Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
