I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
