Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
