Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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