I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we made out on top of his cat.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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