He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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