Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize