so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
