Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
