Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
