Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
