I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
