I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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