I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
