Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
