Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
