I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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