TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
