Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
