So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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