I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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