One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my being single is dangerous.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
