I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
