i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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