theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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