Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
