Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
