Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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