even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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