even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so let's talk penis.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
