It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
