I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just made my gag reflex go away.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
