He kissed a someone with a penis
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
