What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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