If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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