i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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