I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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