so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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