Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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