I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
