My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found puke in my bra..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
