Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
