How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
