Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
