Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He felt like a one man threesome
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This toilet bowl is my home.
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