So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize