i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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