I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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