this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
