sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
