He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
