so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize