My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
