He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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