kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
