I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
