It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
