We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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